The podcast episode today spoke to me in its perfect way at the perfect time.. Over the past year, I've been overcoming my trauma of creating music in a variety of different ways, and the book "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron has helped significantly to open myself up and not beat myself up for being a beginner.
Recently I got stuck.. I got scared again because I've had multiple multiple projects that I've been excited about sharing with the world, and they have felt like no matter how many advancements I make in my knowledge, they were never quite ready to share..
Why was that?.. why were they never ready? Why was it always missing something??
Well Victor helped mirror back to me the truth that I was finally ready to begin realizing in my body.. the thing I knew but wasn't ready to see:
The work has never been ready because I've been to scared to share it.. whether or not there's more to add or if it's always been good as it is, doesn't matter.. It was never making it out of the home studio and into the world because I haven't been ready to share it.. I haven't been ready to open up.
I realized through today's podcast, that I've been living in the fear of this "other". That there's some person or people or world or god that's watching me, and if I don't put out the most magical content anyone has ever heard, I'll never be able to recover.. I'll forever be known as a guy who just doesn't have what it takes.
I've realized my truth. Whether my content gets 2 views or 2 million views, I know deep down in my jellies that im meant to share this music with the world. Im meant to chronicle my story and allow my music to be shared perfectly imperfect.. and though it may be a reflection of me right now and what I am capable of, there's no one powerful enough who can ever hold me to that old standard of who I am.. in fact, there's no "other" to even do that. Tomorrow, next week, next year, everything I create, good or bad will no longer be a direct relflection of me.
The feeling of a work being finished comes from the inside, and I am now ready to reapproach my music allowing myself to be finished with a project. I know that that feeling of satisfaction, finished-ness.. that eureka of takin the leap is now ready to arrive. I allow it to arrive. And when that comes to me and I post my first song on TikTok, I will be back here to update my proof and share with you what I've discovered evidenced to be true in the real world. I won't be sharing a link or plugging my music, but I want ya'll to have another account that our certainty about what we know, is sooo powerful.